sswimm:

lingering between RIM and reality,

you felt lucid.

 

when i awoke, i counted

the moles on your back

and wondered at the Venus

moon in the lining of your skin.

 

it was in this moment that i realized

you reawakened the poet inside of me.

 

something about you

made the primal language

of my blood rise

to the occasion

of haiku and

rhyming vibration.

 

i looked over at you,

in your own poetic process

and felt the incandescence

of your bare feet.

 

winter was suddenly warm.

-Ciarra Ross

Looking for Your ‘Superman’ Husband

Evan Marc Katz the Dating Coach for Strong Successful Women states “I am not arguing that women ought to “settle.” I am arguing that we can now expect more of a mate…But that requires ditching the Lois Lane syndrome, where we ignore the attractions and attention of Clark Kent because we’re so eager for the occasional fly-by from Superman.”If your ideal husband material falls into the taller richer smarter category it is time to change up the game.

Like most successful intelligent women I was insistent my dream partner be a man I could look up to however According to Stephanie Coontz op-ed piece in the New York Times,.  “the most important predictor of marital happiness for a woman is not how much she looks up to her husband but how sensitive he is to her emotional cues and how willing he is to share housework and child-care. And those traits are easier to find in a low-key guy than a powerhouse.”

I too was guilty of the ‘romance novel inspired’ expectations of what Coontz describes as confusing “intimidation with infatuation” as my criteria for falling in love. After marrying a ‘Superman’ who was unable to provide me with the emotional support and attention that I needed and unwilling to partner with me in taking care of the household and child-care I realized that it was time to do some major revision of my perfect mate and decided to give the Clark Kent’s of the world a chance.

While it is the ‘alpha male’ types that set our hormones ablaze after marrying one and experiencing how they often makeb poor husband material I opened up my possibilities to the Clark Kents’ and  a whole new pool of awesome, attractive and available men appeared that I had been letting slip under the radar. I found that instead of the sporadic attention I received from the ‘Superman’ types where I was clamoring for affection while they were focused on their career and material success the Clark’s while handling their own while actually being interested in me and willing to provide my needs. Relationship experiences and connection I only dreamed possible became my reality and yes, I found my Clark Kent.

If you are serious about finding your husband now it is time to ditch the Lois Lane fantasy. I took Evan Marc Katz’s advice transforming my love life and I highly recommend you supercharge your soul mate search by subscribing to Evan Mark Katz newsletter today!!!